Derskie Dni Soundtrack ...wherein hujhax writes an awesome birthday present

Somewhere during the 15 minutes of fame I also had my 31st birthday (one of the pretexts for the Lego trip in the first place). hujhax , by way of wishing happy birthday, featured me in his damn hilarious weekly blog post, "English for Everyday Situations."

hujhax is LJ-friend locked at the moment, so I reproduced the post below. Check out  http://hujhax.livejournal.com/tag/spanish  for more weekly English hilarity.

This week's situation: "You have tracked down the person who stole your iPhone!"

Do you realize how much Lego-building time you've cost me?
CH TMLXC Do you realize how much time to build with Legos that cost me?

You really want to keep a ringtone Whose phone is Permanently Set to "The Final Countdown"?
Are you sure you want to keep a phone with a ringtone that is permanently set to "The Final Countdown"?

Of course I Knew It Was stolen. A lost iPhone Would just naturally migrate to the Nearest Starbucks.
Of course I knew it was stolen. A lost iPhone would naturally migrate to the Starbucks m & aacute, s close.

'Blackmail' is Such a dirty word. All I'm Saying is, the built-in GPS Told us the Vicarage locations of your residence and your favorite strip club.
'Blackmail' is a dirty word. All I'm saying is, the built-in GPS told us the places of residence of pastor and his favorite strip club.

Every thief gets cocky. In your case, you Used Twitter app to my post "omg I stole an iPhone" to my Twitter account, with a map link included.
Every thief gets cocky. In your case, my application used Twitter to post "omg I stole an iPhone 'to my cCCOUNT twitter, with a link included.

Do you feel Any sympathy? I Was disconnected from Facebook for literally hours!
Do not feel any sympathy? I was disconnected from caralibro for literally hours!

Easy, now. It's not like this is amazing Some Korean smartphone Actually that's worth shooting somebody over.
Quiet! It's not like this is one amazing Korean smartphone worth shooting somebody.

Yes, I'll let you finish this round of Flight Control first. I'mnot a monster.
Yes, you can finish this round of Flight Control. I'm not a monster.

Note: As always, these 'translations' are Basically just Google Translator output, so corrections are welcome.